Troubelsome Cases

What do you do when you found a great soul who is so worthy of your adoration but whose past has left them tattered and bruised…and skeptical…and broken. Do you love them through it? Should you run?

Do you stay? Love them through it? This is tricky territory my dear one. This ground simply is not for rookies. You have to have the battle bruises and war torn prowess to navigate the dark lands. What I am telling you here is fact. I will not mince words. This simply can not be handled by the JV squad. If you are not willing and able to lose the game and have your face plastered on the news as a result, then you have a bye. This one is simply not for you. In the spectrum that is life after heart break you learn pieces of this side of heaven that can not be handled by the untrained.

Those of us with appropriate clearance are nodding our head in the know. If you feel that twinge, then my dear sweet soul, Run Forrest!!!!

I myself have been broken beyond the rules. That part in the bible where we are told you could be hunted and circled like a tiger by evil...yea, he was in my kitchen.  When he couldn’t make me cower in the corner and steal my world with threats, he picked me up off of the ground by my throat and slammed my head into my cabinets so hard that if I wasn’t quite sure I was taking one of my last breathes, I would have passed out. Luckily, my God and my sensei made sure that I knew what to do in that moment and when he saw I wasn’t going to lay down and die...don’t you know that he ran like a little kitty that he is!!

When you live through something like this, not only have you stared evil eye to eye but you walk through the rest of your days knowing so. It plays out in ways that are so complicated. Your ability to trust and accept in relationships again takes hard work. We are taught to keep that which does not belong in polite society buried away and I am telling you that fact is the screwdriver on the tool belt of evil. It is the go to that evil will not leave home without. I am also here to tell you that there is life and LOVE after the darkness does its best to consume you.

Please listen to what I am about to say to you. Please imagine that my hands are wrapped around your cheeks and that I am there to hug you because you deserve it. What happened to you happened to you and in no conceivable way happened because of you. We like quippy answers for life. Life on life’s terms deserves so much more than quippy, half-witted answers. The slogans come after the cycle of life has occurred. Once you have earned, lived and learned the crap that hunts us in life, then you “get” the slogans.

I am not trying to throw quippy half-witted crap at you today. In the moments we have together what I want you to walk away and begin to consider is this… if you are still here with me, then that tells me that life has already tried its best to kill you. First degree murder can happen to our soul and spirit just as much as it can to our bodies.

Relationships and love are the closest thing we see to the face of God and is the very breathe of time and energy. Love unites us all. We may call God by different names and we may bicker over politics, money and religion but unless we are true sociopaths we each know LOVE, and we sense that God is love. We know the passion that it creates and the power that it holds.

Some of us have to live in spite of it and in hope of it. Here is where we go with that.

You unfortunately have to learn and accept that in spite of what you have survived, the rules do in fact apply to you. You also have to learn first, how to trust yourself. Although these are easy sentences to write, they are very in depth life lessons and concepts to grasp and assimilate. If that makes you take a deep breathe or gives you heart burn, I urge you to take some time to kick that around the mental yard. Return when you have. It’s ok if this collects dust while you do.

You are not less valuable because of what you have survived, you are better equipped. You need to know this my dear, because you will send mixed messages to those who want to care about you. You will keep them at a distance out of fear that when they see the you that has earned the trophies and can prove it wit the scars, that they will see something war torn instead of someone adorable. NOT TRUE!!! They will see the warrior and the true diva. They will cherish it and they will protect it. You didn’t get here by mistake…maybe through mistakes, but never by mistake.

Just don’t be dumb. Don’t miss it. There are not unlimited chances and all of them require risk. When you follow the rules and the process, then with wisdom you will proceed. Being afraid to get hurt again is reality and being selfish in hurting others out of that fear is a rookie mistake. At that point, you have to turn in your gun and your badge. Return to training and try again. When you can respect yourself and your new shiny friend with the same respect or more as yourself, then you are getting started. When you can listen and hear their needs and be willing to make time and move mountains to be the person that does that for them...Eureka!!! You’ve got it my dear. You are a card carrying member of the varsity squad.

You do need to proceed with caution because you may run into those on JV squad. Don’t try to coach them to varsity. Watch for snakes!!! Look out for alligators. But dare to love and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are being prepared for the person who is being prepared for you. And dear God! Do not let them go when you find them. Treat them like the precious soul they are and when necessary grab hold and hold on…Love is not always the skip through the chocolate factory that we want it to be and when treated with the correct discernment and reverence that it deserves, It is ALWAYS the light at the end of the tunnel and port in the storm that we need. It then gets to be the fun times in life too.  Love yourself first. Keep and update your moral inventory and then have the balls to let yourself be Loved. Dare to be adored and demand to be cherished. You, darlin’ are so very worth it!!